This Is NOT my Home...

So, God and I have been "arguing". Well, really, I have been arguing at God and He has been patiently taking it and loving me. In the most unexpected way, on my drive to church this morning, He showed me this.

I was driving to church by myself. I don't often drive anywhere by myself, but Adam stayed home with the kids this morning and I headed to church on my own. I was half listening to KLOVE, thinking through the day to come in my head, going through all the house stuff, the Cameron's and Silas, a good friend who has a very sick grandmother, missing an uncle whom I loved dearly and who got to go home before us all; thinking about how unfair this life is, when this song came on. If you haven't heard it, please, listen to the whole thing, preferably with your eyes closed, the video is distracting but it is the best one I could find.



I have heard this song before but had never HEARD this song. In the past I had been distracted by kids, videos behind my head, life. This morning, God stopped me in my tracks (literally, I came to a red light) and made me LISTEN to this song. Wow. He broke me. Sitting there, at the red light, He broke me. I bawled like a baby. And I got angry. And I cussed at Him and I vented, and I complained. And He took it. And then, He dried my tears and gave me peace and understnading and He LOVED me and He forgave me.

I have been so angry and confused. Really, why is life this HARD?! I know nothing good is ever easy. But really! It felt like the punches just kept on coming. WHY IN HELL IS SILAS STILL AT CHKD?!?!?!?! That is when He spoke to me. I AM NOT FINISHED, DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME!

God, this is hard. It hurts. Life hurts right now. In the loudness of all that is going on, in the craziness of all this human life, I have lost Your "still, small voice". Faith is hard right now, believing is hard right now. Not that You came, lived and died for me, but that You intimatley care about what is happening with me and those I love NOW.

But this morning you come in with a song. Not a loud, booming song that makes me wanna roll down the windows and belt it out, but in a calm, quiet voice of a song. You re-assure me with your Word that I have all but ignored the past few weeks out of anger and weariness.

"Matthew 10:29-32 (NIV)
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

"Luke 12:7 (NIV)
7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

It is so important, it is in there twice. He cares, He knows, He is holding every single tear I have cried in His hands, He has cried them with me. How foolish am I to think otherwise? God broke me this morning in the most wonderful way. I feel renewed, I feel hopeful again. Beyond everything else I have to believe this last verse, even though right now, it seems impossible. He is doing a new, work, a wonderful thing, my narrow eyes just can't see it yet. But when I go home, to Him, I belive He'll show me then. Until then, I remind myself, this is not my home. I am here, a visitor; learning, loving, trying to become like Him in all the ways I can and I am going to fail at that, a lot, but I pray I can succeed in it just as much.

Romans 8:28(NIV)
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Latest Update

I am getting ready to soak in a hot tub, but while I wait for the tub to fill, today's happenings...

• I went to City Hall bright and early and got a letter from the city engineering (thanks Jay!) saying there is no sewer tap. It states to tie in to city sewer, the total cost will be $4.072. Ouch.

• Heather confronted those people/agencies avoiding responsibility and actually got to speak with someone in HUD, this was a pretty big step. He was very nice and is really going to try to help us.

• We found out our contract is possibly being extended to May 21st, this would be amazing.

• A septic tank inspector came out (to the tune of $224) and pumped and inspected the tank. He said it is about 30 yr.s old (AVG lifespan for a tank is 35 but he has seen some as old as 60). It is in good working condition, but really, that could change at any point due to so many factors.

So, this is where we stand. Please continue to keep us in prayer. My brain if fried. Heather is working her butt off and Adam is trying hard to honor his job and stay focused on work while he is there, knowing we are juggling lots at home. The prayers are definitely appreciated.

God Speaks! Through license plates...

So, just a funny/ironic thing to share with you. On our way to meet with a lawyer today Heather told us how she was driving on Friday through the tunnel and saw a license plate that said "VAHOMES". She laughed out loud like "yeah right, never again". You know, like VA Homes as in HUD homes. Then she noticed, the car right behind it said "NVRAGIN". Stinking hilarious! But it does not end there...

As we were on our way home from the lawyers office we were really evaluating what God was trying to do in all this/ what He wanted us to do. Heather was on the phone negotiating some things. Adam looks up and the car going by has a license plate that said "PA8ENCE" or something along those lines, spelling "PATIENCE". Really?

Then, on the way home from getting our kids, Adam says out loud (half-joking) "God, any thing else You'd like to tell us through license plates?" and a blue Nissan drives by at that moment with the plate
"INNOHRY" - Lord, we hear You, lol!!!!

So, God, patience. Is that the lesson in this? Man, it is a hard one to learn. I really think though, Adam and I are doing our best to grasp it.

We met with an attorney today who is going to help us. Praise God! He (God) provides all the time. So, I will have more info for you later, but my brain is too fried to type more about it. But things, Lord willing, will start happening tomorrow with the continued assistance from Heather now joined with the attorney.

Thank-you for all the prayers. Keep them up please.

MD

Another Dispatch from the Home Buying Trenches

Wow, what a emotionally trying day past 2 frikin months! Okay, mainly day though. I guess I'll start from the beginning.

We closed on our house last Thursday. On Friday morning, I called the city to come out and check their lines, the plumbing was backing up in the house and I had been told that having the city come out was the first thing I should do. Well, the wonderful (no, really, they were great) 3 men that ended up out there informed and showed me that our house was in fact not hooked up to city sewage but on a septic tank. I was thoroughly confused because all documentation we had seen, all the listings for the house, stated that it was hooked up to the city sewer. This is called misrepresentation. HUD and the listing agent sold the house to us lying to us, telling us it was on sewer, we had ZERO reason to question this.

The very first thing I did was call my wonderful real estate agent, and friend, Heather Larson. She immediately called her lawyer and then the title company to get the deed stopped. This way, we would not be closing on a house that had any major issue.

The city of Newport News has a grandfather clause which allows houses with access to sewer hookups to still be on septic tanks, BUT, if ANYTHING goes wrong, we are not allowed to repair or replace it, we have to tie into the city sewer, which can cost upwards of $6000 dollars.

After many, many phone calls and bounce arounds, this is what we were told/found out

• Get an attorney (LOTS of money, like over $1000)
• Have a septic pump/inspection ($450 dollars)
• Get a letter from the nice water works man proving what we say is true. Hello, why would I make this up!?!?
• Have slobbery break down in front of parents...oh wait, not on the list, just happened in this order.
• Pray, pray, pray and pray

After all this we were faced with the decision of whether to go ahead and close on the house (and then have to chase the money down that this is all going to cost us) or hold off, rack up a ton more expenses by delaying closing, and not get stuck with a potential $6000 time bomb. We got to make this grand decision in about 30 min. So, we decided to close. We have already invested so much of ourselves and our money in this place. But we made this decision at 4:30, giving some person in VA Beach 30 min to get paperwork filed in Newport News Courts. Possible? We have no clue. They never called us back. Typical, oh yes.

So, moral of this story. I have no clue tonight as to whether or not we are home-owners and tomorrow is pretty much guaranteed to be pretty stressful as well. I am emotionally drained but I'm not worrying about tomorrow tonight.

HUD has been absolutely horrible throughout this whole process. Heather Larson and her people are the only ones who have done their jobs well this entire time. She has been amazing, *shameless plug*. No matter what happens here, we are going to fight this system. It is ridiculous what they put you through.

Anyways, say a prayer for us. We need it. I'll let you know more tomorrow.