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Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
"Girl" Friends
Friends are an area in my life I have always struggled with. I had 3 brothers, so I never really fit in with the girls and really didn't care to for a long time. Once I did start desiring other girl's friendship I quickly realized, girls are mean. We weren't rich, I wore a lot of boy's uniform clothes because that is what thrift stores had. I had terrible hair and more than once over-heard so called"friends" making fun of me behind my back. I hated middle school.
High school was 4 years of me trying to do whatever I could for girl's to want to be my friend, sometimes at the cost of ignoring who Christ had made me to be.
Tonight, I had a phone "date" with one of my closest friends (whom I have known since middle school but lives 8 hours away) and I realized how truly blessed I am. God has blessed me with not one or two, but a group of ladies who I know I really can call "friend". Some of them I get together with during the week for kids playdates. Some I only see at church on Sunday yet they intentionally seek out time to talk. Two live in my house and call me to be a better wife, mother and friend in encouraging ways.
It is funny. Of 2 of my best friends, one lives 8 hours away and one lives downstairs and God uses them both equally in my life. Carey calls at just the right time, prays for me without even knowing it, makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. Elizabeth is a blessing to my life I would have never imagined. She is there when I need to vent, is completely honest with me and willing to share her heart, can also make me laugh even when I am pissed off at the world and is always there. These ladies get me. I don't ever have to pretend I am someone I am not and I have never felt the temptation to compromise who God has called me to be.
I only hope I can be just as good of a friend back to them and all the wonderful women God has blessed me with in my life. Thank-you ladies for including me, loving me, and being great friends.
High school was 4 years of me trying to do whatever I could for girl's to want to be my friend, sometimes at the cost of ignoring who Christ had made me to be.
Tonight, I had a phone "date" with one of my closest friends (whom I have known since middle school but lives 8 hours away) and I realized how truly blessed I am. God has blessed me with not one or two, but a group of ladies who I know I really can call "friend". Some of them I get together with during the week for kids playdates. Some I only see at church on Sunday yet they intentionally seek out time to talk. Two live in my house and call me to be a better wife, mother and friend in encouraging ways.
It is funny. Of 2 of my best friends, one lives 8 hours away and one lives downstairs and God uses them both equally in my life. Carey calls at just the right time, prays for me without even knowing it, makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. Elizabeth is a blessing to my life I would have never imagined. She is there when I need to vent, is completely honest with me and willing to share her heart, can also make me laugh even when I am pissed off at the world and is always there. These ladies get me. I don't ever have to pretend I am someone I am not and I have never felt the temptation to compromise who God has called me to be.
I only hope I can be just as good of a friend back to them and all the wonderful women God has blessed me with in my life. Thank-you ladies for including me, loving me, and being great friends.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Do Not Quit!
Watch this sermon. Seriously. Clear out 40 minutes of your day and watch it. So worth it!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
A Conversation About Jesus
Aidyn and I had a conversation about Jesus tonight on the way home from church. We named all of the people Jesus loves (as many as we could, including a few stuffed animals).
"Jesus loves Aidyn, Jesus loves Archer, Mommy, Daddy, Gigi, Poppi, Tiny, Bunny, Elmo, etc" Archer also chimed in with a "Jesus wuvs us" in an Archer speak that melted my heart.
Talked about how he made everything and named as much as we could...
"Jesus made the tress, grass, mommies, daddies, puppies. At puppies she exclaimed "He did!? Oh! Thank-you Jesus! That's good! That's so nice!"
As we were pulling onto our street from the back seat she said "Uh-Oh, Jesus, are you okay?" (She asks this of people often, but not sure what prompted it tonight) She said "Jesus, do you have a boo-boo?" I took the opportunity and told her Jesus did get a boo-boo for us, at which she exclaimed very distraught "OH-NO!" I told her he got a boo-boo so we could go live in Heaven with him but that God made His boo-boo all better.
It was a sweet moment that just kind of presented itself. I am not sure how much she took from it, but I figure it planted a seed. She is so sweet and caring, she was genuinely concerned for Jesus' boo-boo. I will keep planting these seeds.
We also blessed the kids in our church tonight and it really made me think about how much I really don't go beyond "Jesus loves you" with Aidyn. So I said this blessing over her tonight (out of Numbers) and plan to say it out loud to her often.
"May the LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace."
Sweet moments with my little girl who is growing up SO fast. I want her to KNOW she is the daughter of the King and that His love for her is beyond anything she could ever imagine. That she has an inheritance far beyond earthly silver and gold waiting for her. I was blessing the middle school girls with these words tonight thinking about my own girl who will be facing all the things these girls deal with before we know it. Lord, give me strength, cause that scares the crap out of me.
"Jesus loves Aidyn, Jesus loves Archer, Mommy, Daddy, Gigi, Poppi, Tiny, Bunny, Elmo, etc" Archer also chimed in with a "Jesus wuvs us" in an Archer speak that melted my heart.
Talked about how he made everything and named as much as we could...
"Jesus made the tress, grass, mommies, daddies, puppies. At puppies she exclaimed "He did!? Oh! Thank-you Jesus! That's good! That's so nice!"
As we were pulling onto our street from the back seat she said "Uh-Oh, Jesus, are you okay?" (She asks this of people often, but not sure what prompted it tonight) She said "Jesus, do you have a boo-boo?" I took the opportunity and told her Jesus did get a boo-boo for us, at which she exclaimed very distraught "OH-NO!" I told her he got a boo-boo so we could go live in Heaven with him but that God made His boo-boo all better.
It was a sweet moment that just kind of presented itself. I am not sure how much she took from it, but I figure it planted a seed. She is so sweet and caring, she was genuinely concerned for Jesus' boo-boo. I will keep planting these seeds.
We also blessed the kids in our church tonight and it really made me think about how much I really don't go beyond "Jesus loves you" with Aidyn. So I said this blessing over her tonight (out of Numbers) and plan to say it out loud to her often.
"May the LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace."
Sweet moments with my little girl who is growing up SO fast. I want her to KNOW she is the daughter of the King and that His love for her is beyond anything she could ever imagine. That she has an inheritance far beyond earthly silver and gold waiting for her. I was blessing the middle school girls with these words tonight thinking about my own girl who will be facing all the things these girls deal with before we know it. Lord, give me strength, cause that scares the crap out of me.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Community
So, we are buying a house! It is on Lucas Creek Rd. in Newport News. I am getting more and more excited as the time gets closer.
Along with the excitement is the sadness that comes with moving out of community. For our 4 years of marriage, only 1 has been not living in community. We LOVE community, really. When we first were married, we were living at LivingStone Monastery in a community that flexuated from about 8 people up to 15 or so when we moved out. From there we moved in with my parents for about 3 months, yet another form of community, this one really out of need.
Our year at Saint Andrews Apartments was like being newly-weds again. We were forced into a space of no easy distractions, staring all our faults and annoyances in the face. It was good! Our marriage grew more in that time than any other.
An opportunity arose and we decided to move back into community with some close friends. And it has been good too! Now, don't get me wrong, there have been some difficult moments and we have been living in a construction area for the past year, which is a unique situation in itself. In all this though, I have grown as a person. This has been so different than LivingStone.
For starters, there was no one person (aside from God) or group of people controlling our lives/jobs. My husband was still able in many aspects to be the head of our individual household. This has been healthy community living. It has been filled, for the most part, with joy, healthy conflict and brothers and sisters coming along side one another to form a family in Christ. These people will always be my family, for that I am so grateful.
Now though, it is time for a new season. Adam and I need to get back to the root of our marriage. To stepping out of this unit and finding ourselves as a family. What are ours goals? What is our purpose? Who are we truly as a family in Christ? I think these are all questions we are seeking to answer in this stage. I have a strong feeling we will do community again. I am not sure when that will be, but I do believe it will be good :)
So, people can stop assuming we are leaving because things are bad. Things are just changing, as life changes everyday. We are excited for this next step, but I am being careful to have my eyes and my heart open during this last bit of time in community. God is still doing a good things here and in these people we call family and whom we love deeply.
Along with the excitement is the sadness that comes with moving out of community. For our 4 years of marriage, only 1 has been not living in community. We LOVE community, really. When we first were married, we were living at LivingStone Monastery in a community that flexuated from about 8 people up to 15 or so when we moved out. From there we moved in with my parents for about 3 months, yet another form of community, this one really out of need.
Our year at Saint Andrews Apartments was like being newly-weds again. We were forced into a space of no easy distractions, staring all our faults and annoyances in the face. It was good! Our marriage grew more in that time than any other.
An opportunity arose and we decided to move back into community with some close friends. And it has been good too! Now, don't get me wrong, there have been some difficult moments and we have been living in a construction area for the past year, which is a unique situation in itself. In all this though, I have grown as a person. This has been so different than LivingStone.
For starters, there was no one person (aside from God) or group of people controlling our lives/jobs. My husband was still able in many aspects to be the head of our individual household. This has been healthy community living. It has been filled, for the most part, with joy, healthy conflict and brothers and sisters coming along side one another to form a family in Christ. These people will always be my family, for that I am so grateful.
Now though, it is time for a new season. Adam and I need to get back to the root of our marriage. To stepping out of this unit and finding ourselves as a family. What are ours goals? What is our purpose? Who are we truly as a family in Christ? I think these are all questions we are seeking to answer in this stage. I have a strong feeling we will do community again. I am not sure when that will be, but I do believe it will be good :)
So, people can stop assuming we are leaving because things are bad. Things are just changing, as life changes everyday. We are excited for this next step, but I am being careful to have my eyes and my heart open during this last bit of time in community. God is still doing a good things here and in these people we call family and whom we love deeply.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Call Me the Fool
What a 2 months it has been. What a testing of faith. It started with a good friend loosing her 6 day old baby, followed by another good friend almost loosing her 17 month old son (God is showing us a miracle here!). I felt like I had been punched in the stomach for a good week. It didn't make sense...scratch that, it still doesn't make sense. I have been grappling with why God would choose to take a child from their mother.
I can't even take my mind to imagining what this would be like. It breaks my heart. Becoming a mother brought with it a love so far beyond any I had ever experienced. I know God put that in us for a reason and I can't let myself feel guilty that my children are 2 healthy and happy little people. But Lord, I don't understand and I don't know how to explain why these things happen. I don't think anyone can.
I KNOW you are still good and your are still LOVE. I know you do not love these mothers ANY less, so why have they been given this burden? Why does any mother have to go through this? Even more, why do bad things happen?! Cliche, I know, but sometimes it just doesn't make sense.
So, in all this battling of the mind and heart, I keep ending up at Romans 5:3.
"3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
We don't hope in vain. The Holy Spirit in us makes our hope more than just a feeling, but an active verb. Our hope does something, it is not pointless. Our prayers mean something and they are heard by the almighty God sitting on His throne with the scores of angels and the elders. In the midst of ALL this, our hope is heard by God. What an AWEsome feeling.
So, I will take my sometimes mustard seed size faith and I will hope in our Lord and in His will. I don't understand, but I don't have to. I will pray without ceasing for LIFE for Silas Cameron, because I believe God can and will respond. I will believe in a whole heart for Maggie. One that was broken apart, I will trust in the Lord for healing and for purpose to one day be shown. And I will pray everyday for a peace for her until that comes.
I heard a friend pray in the waiting room at CHKD "Lord, if this is foolish prayer, than call me a fool" Lord, I choose to HOPE and to believe. I may look like a fool at times. Doctors may think we are crazy, but you will not be made a fool. No matter what happens, you are sovereign and Holy and good and right. Sometimes all I can say is "this is too much" but you know this story (the story of creation and life), cover to cover. It is a story that glorifies You and will make perfect sense in the end.
So, as I sit here confused, angry, hurt at times. I remind myself, you didn't promise easy. Faith isn't easy. But, if I am willing to stand up and be called the fool, my hope can move some mountains.
I can't even take my mind to imagining what this would be like. It breaks my heart. Becoming a mother brought with it a love so far beyond any I had ever experienced. I know God put that in us for a reason and I can't let myself feel guilty that my children are 2 healthy and happy little people. But Lord, I don't understand and I don't know how to explain why these things happen. I don't think anyone can.
I KNOW you are still good and your are still LOVE. I know you do not love these mothers ANY less, so why have they been given this burden? Why does any mother have to go through this? Even more, why do bad things happen?! Cliche, I know, but sometimes it just doesn't make sense.
So, in all this battling of the mind and heart, I keep ending up at Romans 5:3.
"3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
We don't hope in vain. The Holy Spirit in us makes our hope more than just a feeling, but an active verb. Our hope does something, it is not pointless. Our prayers mean something and they are heard by the almighty God sitting on His throne with the scores of angels and the elders. In the midst of ALL this, our hope is heard by God. What an AWEsome feeling.
So, I will take my sometimes mustard seed size faith and I will hope in our Lord and in His will. I don't understand, but I don't have to. I will pray without ceasing for LIFE for Silas Cameron, because I believe God can and will respond. I will believe in a whole heart for Maggie. One that was broken apart, I will trust in the Lord for healing and for purpose to one day be shown. And I will pray everyday for a peace for her until that comes.
I heard a friend pray in the waiting room at CHKD "Lord, if this is foolish prayer, than call me a fool" Lord, I choose to HOPE and to believe. I may look like a fool at times. Doctors may think we are crazy, but you will not be made a fool. No matter what happens, you are sovereign and Holy and good and right. Sometimes all I can say is "this is too much" but you know this story (the story of creation and life), cover to cover. It is a story that glorifies You and will make perfect sense in the end.
So, as I sit here confused, angry, hurt at times. I remind myself, you didn't promise easy. Faith isn't easy. But, if I am willing to stand up and be called the fool, my hope can move some mountains.
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